The Onion and Why It's Great

In this particular article from The Onion, Kevin Spyra, 22, was removed from his "hazardous living conditions" by authorities. The Onion continues to explain why his living conditions were hazardous enough for him to be removed by Roommate Protective Services (Figure 2). First off, his room was a mess; dirty laundry strewn about, piles of dirty dishes, smelly bath towels, and overflowing garbage bins. Also, his roommate would not pay his share of the cable bill, which is a tragedy in itself. Last, there have been reports of "Incubus" playing as late as 3A.M. In these living conditions, could anyone survive? I'm sure this woman below (Figure 1) would love to have a roof over her head. I'm sure she's been in worse places than a small apartment owned by two typical 20-year-olds.

Figure 1. A homeless woman sitting on the street next to all of her belongings.

After all, in the United States alone, there are over 3.5 million homeless people (NSCA). Here are a few statistics on New York, New York's homeless population. Every night, roughly 21,000 children experience homelessness (of the 55,000 total homeless every night). Most of these homeless people will seek shelter in various municipal shelters. One municipal shelter houses up to 105,000 different homeless people a year (40,000 children). On a much brighter note, over the last decade, the number of homeless people actually staying in shelters increased by 60% (Coalition for the Homeless). I'm sure the remaining 40% would take Spyra's place for a few nights in a messy smelly room than staying on the streets of New York all night.

Is is possible for Spyra to have actually experienced unsafe living conditions? First, let's look at what unsafe living conditions are. According to the Prince William County, VA government website, unsafe living conditions include, gas leaks, no utilities for extended periods (running water. heat, electricity), and damage to key functions (includes stairs, deck, foundation, roof). I think Kevin could have survived a dirty room (Figure 2).

Figure 2. Kevin being escorted by a Roomate Protective Service agent.

But what if Kevin (or his roommate) was a hoarder? After all, hoarding is more common than people realize (roughly 5% of the population). Also, hoarding can happen as early as puberty. Yes, most people shown on "Hoarders" are elderly, but that doesn't mean Spyra's young roommate couldn't also have a serious mental illness (Discovery Health). According to MayoClinic, hoarding is a serious mental illness that can be the root cause for unsafe living conditions (Figure 3). Unsafe living conditions caused by hoarding include not having a three-foot walkway of available space through out his apartment for emergency personnel to access, blocked windows and doors, extreme joint deformation of the home due to mass amounts of stationary weight, and blocked emergency exits. After all, 1% of U.S. house fires are caused by hoarding, and of those hoarding fires, 25% of deaths in those fires are caused by inaccessibility (Prince William County). The Roommate Protective Service agent may have saved Spyra's life after all. Because the article never shows the extend of trash in Spyra's room, a proper conclusion will never be reached.

Figure 3. A photograph of a hoarder with all her belongings.

The wonderful thing about The Onion is that it mocks modern issues, while bringing other serious worldly issues into perspective. The Onion will catch small things that are taken for granted by almost everyone in America and bring it to attention by writing an entire article on the subject. I will catch myself thinking about how messy my room is every once in a while. This article provoked me to do some research about the homeless and hoarding populations of America. On a related note, every Christmas, my family makes a donation to a charity of choice. This year I am going to choose a homeless shelter. Thanks, The Onion, for showing me a new perspective.